What belonging means and why it matters.
According to the Public Health Agency of Canada (Inequalities in mental health, well-being and wellness in Canada, 2024)1, one of the key determinants of positive mental health is social and cultural connection, including a sense of community belonging.
“Community belonging refers to an individual’s sense of acceptance, inclusion, and connection within their community or social environment.”
In short: belonging means feeling seen, connected, valued and included.
Why is that especially important to think about at this time of year?
The holidays have a way of highlighting loneliness. In a season where there are more gatherings than usual, it can be hard to ignore if you don’t feel included.
So here are 5 practical ways to bring belonging into focus this season, for others and yourself.
1. Reach Out: Send the Invite
Consider those who might feel disconnected this holiday season and reach out with a simple invite: “I’d love you to join me/us for…”
Host or suggest low-barrier gatherings: a potluck, a winter walk with hot chocolate, game night. Emphasize that all are welcome with no expectations and no pressure.
There can be pressure to show up as the most joyful version of yourself for these events, so hearing something like “just come as you are” makes space for you or someone else to attend without feeling the pressure to fake it.
For yourself:
If you’re feeling like you don’t quite have a place of belonging, identify one space you could invite yourself into. Maybe a community event, volunteering for something small, or joining a new group.
Choose the framing: going not as “I don’t belong” but as “I’m curious about how this will feel.”
Allow the invite to be low-stakes: you don’t have to stay the whole time. Just show up and see what happens.
2. Listen, Include and Share Stories
For others:
Use inclusive language, celebrate diversity: highlight cultural traditions, different ways families connect, different ways people feel “home.”
Ensure people feel seen: ask open questions (“Do you have traditions you’d like to take part in this time of year? What do you enjoy about this season? What don’t you enjoy?”) and foster connections.
For yourself:
- If you feel like you’re on the outside, journaling can help: write about times when you did feel connection, no matter how small. Revisit what that felt like.
- Identify an opportunity to share and connect with someone else about how you’re feeling. You’d be surprised at the number of people who may feel the same way.
- Remind yourself: belonging is about being present and part of storytelling, rather than being concerned about fitting in.
3. Create Meaningful Rituals
For others:
Build a simple ritual of belonging: a gratitude tree where people write what they’re thankful for, a community art or photo board, or simply ensuring that others are included in traditions.
Emphasize continuity: this is our community; we do this each year. Rituals build identity, familiarity, connection.
For yourself:
- Design a small personal ritual: for example, a walk with your dog each evening, reflecting on one thing you felt connected to.
- Make it simple, consistent. Even 10 minutes matters. This helps anchor you in your own sense of place and belonging.
- If you don’t have a “group” ritual yet, start one yourself: invite a friend, a neighbour, or join a community event and commit to showing up once.
4. Give and Receive
For others:
Encourage one small act this season: send a handwritten note, drop by with a treat, invite someone who might be alone.
Be open to receive acts of kindness that others may bestow on you as well and recognize the effort it takes to make these gestures.
For yourself:
- If you’re feeling isolated, allow someone else to reach out to you. Sometimes we aren’t open to seeing these gestures and can miss them.
- List two things you could give (time, presence, a smile) and two things you’re open to receive (invitation, companionship, a simple hello).
- Reframe: belonging isn’t just earned by doing big things. It’s often in small invites, small kindnesses.
5. Pause, Reflect and Anchor
For others:
Encourage people to share their stories, traditions, or what the past year has meant for them. Reflection can encourage connection and belonging.
For yourself:
- Build in a daily five-minute pause: journal “I felt connection when…” or “I want to feel belonging by…”
- Notice when you feel disconnected, acknowledge it: “This is how I feel now.” Then ask: “What might help me feel connected today?”
- Recognize that belonging isn’t always loud or busy, it can be still, quiet, grounded.
Make Belonging Your Holiday Gift
In the hustle of lights, gifts, party planning and stress, it’s easy to lose track of belonging.
Whether you’re in a place of connection already and want to help others feel it, or you’re feeling a bit disconnected and want to find your place, this holiday season offers a real opportunity to weave belonging into action.
Invitation: Pick one of the five strategies above. This week, do just one thing: reach out, listen, ritualize, give/receive, or pause. Notice how it changes the feel of your season.
Reflection: Next week, check in: How did it feel? Who responded? What difference did it make for you, or for someone else?
Expansion: Keep it going. Belonging isn’t just a holiday thing. Keep it going year round.